I just began this paragraph with 'Lately,' - then subsequently hit the backspace key slowly seven times after realising that my 'blogging rut' has been happening for quite some time now, and it isn't really a 'lately' sort of thing. It's not that I've lost my love for writing or my interest in social media, it's more that life has simply been practicing its little habit of 'getting in the way'.
Firstly, I have a debilitating chronic illness that affects every moment of my life. That's a pretty big 'firstly', and it's also a pretty big wedge that gets unfairly driven between my goals and me achieving them. However, saying that, I have been lucky enough to progress a little in the past two months; January was diabolical, but February and March? Not too unbearable. I've been managing to get out a little more - still unable to leave the house most weeks but hey, progress is progress - and that in turn has given me a new lease of life. I've been enjoying that newfound freedom and my attention has turned to other projects aside from blogging, which brings me onto my second point...
YouTube. Oh, YouTube! I'm loving you right now. I'm having a little moment with you. If you hadn't already gotten the memo, I started a YouTube channel a few months ago - here - and as of right now, it's one of my most favourite things. Don't get me wrong, filming is a right struggle (understatement of the year) but it's an enjoyable struggle and the benefits absolutely outweigh the physical strain. It's incredibly rewarding and the most fun I've had in a long time. It takes up a lot of my time and energy, meaning that blogging has fallen by the wayside even more - "my bad, Blogger. Best, YouTube". When you're chronically ill it really takes that whole 'do less with more focus' thing to the extreme, as you physically don't have the strength to devote yourself to more than one or two 'projects' at the same time, let alone on top of maintaining your occupation if you have one, your relationships, your mental health and ensuring that you're getting enough rest. Being ill is a full-time job, and it means that you're often forced to prioritise when you sorely wish that you could do it all without a second thought.
Thirdly, I guess I've just been feeling a little uninspired. I haven't had the spare energy to blog, nor have I wanted to put together a quick and unimaginative post just for the sake of publishing a new post. That being said however, blogging still remains to be one of my passions and after having already lost some extremely big things in my life due to ME, it'd be a real shame to see another thing that I love be stripped away. Kinda feels like I've got all the ideas but not the spoons. I'm still a little unsure on how to ease myself back into blogging on this site, but maybe committing to one post a week and seeing how that goes would be the best idea? No pressure, just a goal to aim for.
Whatever happens, I hope you know how grateful I am for all of the support and love I've received since launching my blog just over a year ago. It makes my heart ache a little bit when I think of how my blog could be if I were healthy, but all of those feelings dissolve into nothingness when I focus on how much light blogging has brought into my life. Whether I start blogging on a weekly basis again or continuing focusing on YouTube or take a turn for the worst and end up doing neither, it's nice to know that I've made true friends through my little corner of the world wide web who will be there to cushion the falls and applaud the rises.
Are you also a chronically ill blogger - if so, how do you cope? Or if you're healthy but can't blog as much as you'd like to due to time restraints or other life-y things, do you have any tips on how to manage being a busy blogger that you'd like to share?
Meg
I've learnt not to put pressure on myself to post something every week. Because I don't know how I'll be. So I write what I can. Which is normally a little, and then go back to it and it's finished when it's finished. But I've had months without a post before due to my health. It used to really bother me. But I feel quite proud of myself when I've finished one nowadays.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Meg. I hope you're having a good a day as possible. X
Yeah exactly, I put no pressure - just a goal to aim for :) it doesn't matter at all if I miss a week but I'd like to get some regularity to my blog again. So true, when you're only well enough to type a few sentences a day it's an amazing feeling to finally get a post finished and ready to upload, isn't it! Such a victorious moment, haha :) thank you Laura, and you! x
ReplyDeleteMe too. I liked it when I posted the every week and got in a routine. That's a goal for the future.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. Thank you Meg x
Same here, it's something to work towards! Anytime :) lots of love x
ReplyDeleteI've been really struggling to blog at the moment, I've got so many ideas and I just simply don't have the energy to get them typed up! It really is so frustrating, brain fog makes things 100x more difficult! I'm in desperate need of some tips hahaha x
ReplyDeleteI feel exactly the same way, Lauren! So sad to hear that you're in the same boat as it's frustrating the life out of me and getting to the point where I feel stressed about it and don't want to blog anyway. I do love it though so I'm kicking myself! Just going to try and take a chill pill and take a step back - my aim is going to be one post a week, and we'll see how that goes! It could go horribly wrong but I've got my fingers crossed that it'll lead to more regular blogging. Wishing you all the luck in the world, your blog is amazing and you should be so proud of it! <3 Thanks for reading and for the love, hopefully we'll both be back on our A-game soon :) x
ReplyDeleteI honestly feel exactly the same, couldn't have said it better myself! I was getting so so stressed out over it all yesterday, and my mum couldn't understand why but it's beyond frustrating when your illness takes the fun out of something you once enjoyed! I've took a little step back and I'm now thinking 'hmm maybe I should quit the blogging, it's making me feel even more exhausted' but then I'd miss it too! Can't bloody win can you hahah :( sorry for the essay, I hope you're back into the swing of blogging soon- you really are brilliant at it!!! Sending lots of love your way! <3
ReplyDeleteI'm a fellow spoonie (ME, Fibro, TMJ and IBS) and only started blogging a few months ago. I absolutely love it but do have to remind myself not to be disappointed if I'm unable to blog one day. My best friend is scheduling! I write a few posts when I feel up to it and schedule them across the week so I can rest. People reading our blogs understand that we're unwell and appreciate what we CAN do. They don't expect daily posts etc. As ever, we have to put our health first. Boring but true! <3 xxx
ReplyDeletewww.katiecupcakelifewithme.com
hello, I have cronical illness, that is reflux or duodenum inflammation that also lead to heart tachycardia, fast pulse and sometimes irregularity, and I feel my heart most of the time how it beats which annoys me, plus that stomach issues that i have, so I understand you, i was so ill 2 years ago that couldnt go out of the house was so dizzy, then I get better but not fully recover, i still feel dizzy a little and my stomach is not fullly heaty, it is often catch air into itself causing feeling of dizzines and like i am baloon, - and i get tired more easily, I also do youtube and blog a little to distract myself from my health issies. I like youtube very much as you, its my hobby, but i not born in uk or usa so my english is not perfect and sometimes i get a feeling that ppl give me thumbs down for it, and lately was sad about it that my videos get more thumbs down then thumbs up and had sad momment as thought that nobody likes me and what is wrong with me.
ReplyDeleteLovely, all I can say is just write for you! Your audience won't care if you post once a day/week/month/year because that's not why we (I) follow you. I follow you because I like you and enjoy reading what you have to say.. I don't follow you expecting anything. This is your hobby, write so that you'll be proud of what you read back in a few years, and write because you enjoy it. The real support will remain regardless xxx
ReplyDeleteSam | Samantha Betteridge
You've got such a good readership Meg that we'll always be here however often you blog - your channel is doing so well also, contrast girl - 6K you are on it like a car bonnet! Take your time to chill out, max, relax all cool, and make sure you post when you feel well enough :) Sending you hugs!
ReplyDeleteLauren x
Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Fashion Beauty - www.brittonloves.blogspot.co.uk
I do think blogging should be fun and there doesn't need to be any pressure. I'm pretty sure that most readers will also watch your YouTube videos so they are getting regular content from you :) When chronic illness plays a role, you need to be a bit selfish and focus on you. Do what's right for you. Bloglovin' tells me when you update your blog so this whole "being consistent" thing isn't the be-all and end-all as lots of people will say. I can go through phases of being super productive but then I also go through phases of being unable to do much. I try to schedule posts as much as possible to get me through the rubbish times. Blogging and chronic illness is hard so adding YouTube into that and you are doing damn well :) Just keep doing what your doing x
ReplyDeleteMeg, your posts always left me with so many emotions. You are wonderful. And again. And again. Trust me, what you call two or three things which you can't hold to because of illness...not every healthy person will do it as great as you. I still don't know how you manage it and even if it's impossible for me to really understand wht you are going through, I feel it and it make me so proud for you. Who knows, what your life be, have you enough energy - maybe it won't be about blogging at all, or it will mix with other things and you lost passion for it, or something else...so maybe it won't be better. Argh, I feel it's a mess - just wanted to say that what you are doing now is alredy so great, whenever you post once a week or once a month, because behind your posts I always see you. A person. A person with healthy soul and mind. Writing - it's just a way, a way of sharing your conten, so you don't betray it with YouTube, videos is just another way. You content is bigger than that you could squeeze in only writing or talking, so maybe sometimes it's just that one way is more inpiring for you than other.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, send you all mu love and stongly hope you'll have spoonies for your passions and won't be too hard with yourself.
I know exactly how you feel, it's really tough as you just find yourself constantly daydreaming about how it could be if you were well enough to do it properly, but then you feel ungrateful for wishing for more when you already have a lot. You really can't win, it's something I'm finding tough at the moment but it's nice to know that I'm not alone <3 thank you! Aww, you're too kind, you're amazing at it too, keep it up! All my love x
ReplyDeleteHi, Katie! Lovely to hear from you, thanks for reading and for the tip - definitely going to start scheduling if I have the energy to write any posts :) I think we're really lucky to have such understanding people supporting us! Very true, it's not ideal but necessary x
ReplyDeleteHi Megan, thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I really appreciate it! So sorry to hear of your health issues, although I'm glad that you've gotten a little bit better, it's lovely to hear that you've made some progress and gained a little bit of your life back again :) it gives me hope for the future! Aww, I know that it can feel disappointing when people thumbs down your videos but try not to let it discourage you - I always try to let it encourage me to make my videos better instead, and at the end of the day if your videos are making you happy then that's all that matters. It's nice to get positive feedback, but it's also nice to stay true to yourself and create videos that feel right for you :) don't worry about others, some people don't get chronic illness but we just have to keep trying to raise awareness and hope that one day they'll understand better! I love Casey's videos, he's amazing and very inspiring, I agree :) good luck with your YouTube channel! <3 x
ReplyDelete"I've got all the ideas but not the spoons" sounds like me! That's exactly how I feel. You've made amazing progress with youtube recently, so I think just as long as you enjoy whatever you are doing it is fine! Your blog subscribers aren't going to go anywhere!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your youtube channel!! Well done for not letting your illness restrict you too much but remember to not put too much pressure on yourself to post on your blog often etc. To answer the questions at the end of the post, i am struggling through A levels at the moment (doing 4 including maths and biology was not a good plan haha) and what i tend to do is "binge blog" so when I have a few ideas, write loads of posts and schedule them for once a week or fortnight then let them post themselves :) x
ReplyDeletePhoebe’s Diaries
I definitely feel like blogging should be fun for you and not a chore, so to speak, but then again I don't have a blog or anything so thats just my opinion :) I feel like no matter when you post or how many times you post your readers will be right there with you and plus I'm pretty sure the majority of people who read your blog will go and watch your Youtube videos and vice versa. So I don't think you should be too worried about trying to keep up with posts, I mean personally I don't mind what you post whether its a video or a blog post I just love reading/watching them :) I love them to pieces I just feel like I'm in my own little happy space when watching/reading them hahaha :') Much love, Erin xx
ReplyDeletethank you for kind words, yes hope that illness will go away slowly and maybe doctors will find the real cause because i maybe am not yet so good diagnosed, my heart doctor said that i could for that fast heart beat try to get ablation but i afraid of that procedure as some ppl say it pain a lot, and in poland they not put to sleep, in usa my friend had it done in anesthesia, so i still afraid, and when it come to reflux, i think should change dieat more and not eat sweet things like chocholate related, i not worry so much about those thumbs down, as i know even big youtubers get much thumbs down with no reason, i still like youtube doing and photography as a hobby as then not concentrate so much on my heart or stomach, so its good to have some other interests in life, good you started youtbe and vlogging too, greetings and wish you much health :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, Erin :) aww, that's so lovely to hear! Such a nice thing to say - although you're ALWAYS like the nicest and most sweet person in the world, so I'm not surprised :) thank you for your continued support, it's so appreciated! <3 x
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Phoebe :) I need to work on that, I'm a hard worker so I find it quite difficult to 'make' myself rest and not push on when I know I should stop. It's something that I struggle with but I'm hoping to get better at feeling like I'm not doing 'enough' and putting my health first. Sounds like a great idea :) wishing you all the best with your A Levels, you got this! x
ReplyDeleteStory of our lives, isn't it! Thank you so much, Jenny :) that's really encouraging. Sometimes I overthink things but your comment helped me to realise that we have to celebrate our achievements and not feel so unhappy that we aren't doing more. We're ill at the end of the day, and there's only so much we can put our energy into. Totally agree that enjoyment should be key :) thanks for your advice, and lots of love! x
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Polina! You really are the loveliest. I'm so proud of you too, you're just one of the most kindhearted people I know and I'm so appreciative! <3 It's wonderful to have you here and I'm always overjoyed to see your comments. It's not a mess at all, your English is flawless :) you've really helped me to see this in a different light - it's not a crime to focus on one project over another if I'm enjoying it more, that's just how life goes sometimes! Thank you <3 sending you all my love too, hope your week is going well so far you wonderful human x
ReplyDeleteThank you! Ah, it means the world that you don't expect anything - I think sometimes I put pressure on myself because I think 'other bloggers upload every single day and I upload once a month if we're lucky' - it was wearing me down a bit but everyone's comments are so lovely and really help me to see a bit clearer. So happy that you enjoy my blog, and I think it has come across that I haven't been 100% loving it recently - but I do hope that it'll change and I'll get my mojo back :) I'm feeling inspired already... now to find some extra energy, wish me luck! Tons of love x
ReplyDeleteAww, thank you Lauren :) definitely going to max and relax big time - sometimes I get a bit stressed that I'm not doing 'enough' but health does have to come first. Thanks for the reassurance and love, you're the best! Ah you'll be there soon, can't wait for some healthy bakes on your channel! Hugs x
ReplyDeleteThank you, Donna :) it's really encouraging to have your support and I really do agree that sometimes we have to focus on ourselves. I find it hard as I want to be creative and work hard on something, and it's such a disappointment when you're held back by something beyond your control. But hey, we all deal with as best we can :) thanks so much, your kind words are so appreciated and they've really cheered me up. Lots of love x
ReplyDeleteAnytime! Hope you get answers soon. I talk about nutrition and chronic illness on Instagram if you're interested, it's @megsayseat - hope you'll find it helpful if you're thinking about trying clean eating to help improve your symptoms. Absolutely, it's really good to have interests and I think YouTube and photography are amazing interests, it sounds like you're very creative and also a lovely person, too :) wishing you health and happiness, also x
ReplyDeletethank you will follow you:) clean eating have to read about it, your are great person too, i follow your youtube and like your vlogs and other beauty videos, have youtube channel - margorud, wish you also health and happiness ;) lately feel some better coz weather is more optimistic and i guess it have impact on body too
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